Milestone Birthday Parties (40th, 50th, 60th): Costs and Who Pays

A milestone birthday party costs as much as the venue, food and alcohol you choose, so decide early who is hosting and what the budget is. A party at home with a potluck can cost a few hundred dollars; a rented hall adds room fees, and in Ontario a $50 special occasion permit if you serve free drinks at a venue without a liquor licence. A Toronto community centre, for example, charges $70 an hour for a community room without alcohol and $104 with alcohol in 2026. Traditionally a spouse, partner or adult children host; for friends' milestones, splitting costs among organizers is common. For birthdays from 90, the Governor General will send free greetings on request, and from 100, The King.

Who pays

There is no rule, but common patterns are: a spouse or partner hosts a surprise party; adult children host a parent's 60th, 70th or 80th and split the costs; friends co-host and split costs equally; or the person celebrating hosts their own party and pays. If you are co-hosting, agree in writing on the budget, the split and who has authority to spend. If the birthday person is hosting, guests usually do not pay, though a no-host bar at a restaurant is one way to share drink costs, as long as invitations say so clearly.

Venue options

At Ralph Thornton Community Centre in Toronto, a private function's 2026 rate for the full auditorium is $104 an hour without alcohol and $157 with alcohol, before HST, with higher out-of-hours fees for bookings that run past 9 p.m. A weekday or Sunday afternoon party can avoid those fees.

Food and drinks

Food is the biggest line for most parties. A hybrid of one catered main and potluck sides often costs least, and Health Canada's two-hour rule for food left at room temperature applies to any buffet. For drinks, an open bar costs the host the most; beer and wine only, a signature cocktail, or a cash bar (which in Ontario needs a $150 sale permit at an unlicensed venue) all lower it. See the related guides for amounts to buy and LCBO returns.

Gifts and guests

• Group gifts let guests chip in for something meaningful, such as an experience or trip.
• If the guest of honour wants no gifts, say so on the invitation and suggest a charity instead.
• A memory book or video of messages from friends costs little and is often valued most.
• For very large milestones, such as 90 or 100, request a free greeting from the Governor General or The King.

Free greetings for 90 and older

The Governor General sends birthday greetings to Canadians aged 90 or older, and His Majesty The King to those aged 100 or older. Requests must reach the Office of the Secretary to the Governor General at least eight weeks before the delivery date and can be made up to a year early. Greetings are mailed about one month before the date. On request, they are sent every five years from 90 and every year from 100, and the Governor General's message can be backdated up to 12 months if the date has passed.

Choosing a date and time

The date does not have to be the birthday itself. A Saturday or Sunday afternoon near the birthday is usually easiest for guests who travel, and daytime parties tend to cost less: lighter food, fewer drinks, and no after-hours venue fees. Avoid long weekends if many guests have cottage or travel plans, and check school calendars if children or grandchildren are coming. For an older guest of honour, an early afternoon start and a quieter room with seating make the party easier to enjoy.

Send a save-the-date six to eight weeks ahead for a large party, and longer if people need to fly. Ask for RSVPs by a firm date so the caterer or restaurant gets an accurate count; paying for no-shows is one of the easiest ways to blow a budget. Keep a simple spreadsheet of guests, replies and dietary needs.

Surprise parties

Surprise parties need a co-conspirator who controls the guest of honour's calendar, a decoy plan and a guest list that will not leak. They also remove the guest of honour's say over budget and guests, so consider whether they would prefer to be involved. A semi-surprise, where they know the date but not the details, is a middle ground.

Example with made-up inputs

These numbers are an example with made-up inputs. Three siblings plan their mother's 60th for 50 guests. Option A, at home: food and drinks $900, rentals $250, total $1,150. Option B, a community hall from 2 to 7 p.m. with wine and beer: five hours at $104, $520, kitchen at $38 an hour, $190, a $50 permit, $90 insurance, food $900 and drinks $500, total $2,250. Option C, a restaurant set menu at a made-up $55 per guest including tax and tip, $2,750, with a no-host bar. Split three ways, Option B is $750 per sibling.

Steps

1. Decide who hosts and the budget.
2. Choose a venue that fits the budget and guest count.
3. Check alcohol rules and permits.
4. Plan food, drinks and a simple program.
5. Send invitations with any gift or no-gift note.
6. Request a free greeting if the birthday is 90 or more.

Common mistakes

• Booking a venue before agreeing on a budget.
• Forgetting the alcohol permit at an unlicensed hall.
• Running past 9 p.m. where after-hours fees apply.
• Not telling guests about a no-host bar.
• Leaving the greeting request too late.

Related: renting a hall and experience gifts, and how much alcohol to buy.